I grew up in a humble area. When I first moved to Colorado, there wasn't much around us but a store a couple of miles up the road and a gas station or two. I'll never forget growing up in the neighborhood I did. We were surrounded by families and kids my age. And this one boy... My first crush. He was the bees knees in my mind and he showed no interest in me at the time. I even invited him to my birthday party. It was probably Spice Girls or flower themed. What 7 year old boy wouldn't like that? Sheesh.
Fast forward a million years, or like 10. Whatever. I'm 17 and working at an elementary school during weekdays after I'm out of school and practice. It was perfect for a first job, amazing energy, I hung out with kids all afternoon, and got paid to throw dodge balls at them. One afternoon, the doorbell rang and I jumped up to answer it. I swung open the door to see the handsome, lanky kid that I had a big crush on so many years ago. How serendipitous! He was inquiring about a job, and somehow we exchanged numbers. He never got the interview. Oops. We lost contact yet again.
Fast forward, again, to 5 years later. Where we became Facebook friends, thank God for technology reuniting people who have communication at their fingertips despite needing social media as well. We talked a bit over e-mail, exchanged numbers and began texting. The stars seemed to align!!!!! ...... Except this time, I was living 2,000 miles away in Chicago while he was still in our hometown. That didn't prevent the constant texting, what's been happening in each others lives, and talk about how things could have been different, should be different and maybe they will be in the future, blah, blahhhhhhh.
Until the texting spun out of control. I began to slip on responding for hours, or days. And be bombarded with 40, 50, 60 texts saying "I want to be with you," "Why aren't you responding to me," "This is how you are? I don't like it." Woah. The constant texts and accusations from someone whom I hadn't really seen in years was a biiiiiiiiiit heavy. So I cut things off. Asked him to leave me alone.
And he didn't. Text after text after text. I simply ignored and became angrier with him, and myself for somehow ending up in this awkward position.
Until one day, I received a text apologizing and saying he was having a tough time because he had been "having seizures," and the doctors were concerned he may have "tumor" on his "frontal lobe."
WOAH.
Rather than respond right away, I stewed. Is this why his texts were out of control? Is the cancer causing him to react this way? If that's the case, I've known him for so long why didn't he just tell me from the beginning? How is his family taking this news? Is this even true? What if it isn't? Is he absolutely insane? So self-centered he can't stand that I'm not paying attention to him?
Wait, yeah, how is his family taking this news? His brother and I are facebook friends... I should e-mail him and get a little verification.
His brother never responded. But I did get a text from my good ol' childhood crush that was clearly supposed to go to his brother, admitting he lied and was just trying to get me to respond to him, and I was a "bitch."
Ummmm... Yeah, I'm the bitch.
This entire situation got me thinking. How do you possibly define "Good" vs. "Evil"? Is it different to everyone, or generalized for society? Is evil all sin? From murder to lying, to homosexuality, to divorce? Is one evil worse than another? Like, one a scale, mass murder being absolute 10 of "Evil," where does all other evil fall on that spectrum?
After a quick dictionary and Google search, I discovered many definitions but the jist being:
- Good is that which improves the community and possessing or displaying moral virtue
- Evil is that which weakens the community, profoundly immoral and malevolent
So based on these definitions, I know the act of what my childhood crush did was evil, but does that make him evil? Does every good person have the capability of turning into an evil person, or just capable of evil doings? How many evil doings, determines someone an evil person? Or in contrast, how many good deeds total determines someone as a good person? And amongst the other questions, I concede to: Is this Nature vs. Nurture?
I wish I had all the answers. I wish I had any of the answers. But I feel there is a good argument to everything asked, and everything that could be presented. Does anyone else out there have an opinion? Or has anyone been in a similar situation?
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