Dear Mike Lawrence (Miguel Lopez Arellano, as your linkedin states),
I love ordering flowers for my mom, and ordering through your company sure has taken the cake!
Look at this Mike. Just look at it:
You don't get to a position like yours, Mike, with anything less than a generous sprinkling of observational power so I KNOW you will have spotted the order confirmation on that picture. I'm sure you'll be fascinated to hear that price that I agreed to pay, Mike, actually ended up being more just a short hour later when I got a phone call from your company stating that it had risen to $37. Now, Mike, I was raised strictly, neatly, and politely by my mother and despite that number not being what I agreed to-- I let it go with the promise I would get same day delivery to my poor, poor mother who is in ICU 2,000 miles away from her favorite daughter (me, Mike, I'm her favorite). Anyway, my mothers love for me is irrelevant at the moment.
Imagine being a twelve year old, Mike. Now imagine it's Christmas morning and you're given your final present to open. It's a big one, and you know what it is. It's that stereo you wrote Santa about. Only, you open the present and it's not in there. It's your guinea pig, Mike. It's your guinea pig in a box and it's not breathing. That's how I felt when I got a phone call from your company the next day saying there was a delivery problem. Quickly, we amended the problem (Apparently you Silly Sally's got the address wrong! I know how tough it is to go to "Saint Joseph Hospital" in Denver, Colorado, when there's only one hospital by that name in the entire city! It sure is easy to misconstrue nonexistent multiple addresses like that!)
Now I know what you're thinking because it's probably exactly what I was thinking too! Boy, I sure bet the company got it right after the two following phone calls that Saturday! Well Mike, we are [were] both wrong. But, don't fret, I gave them the proper address again on that second phone call on Saturday (10/5/2013) and I had the utmost confidence that they would surely get it right this time! Sunday came and went and I had heard nothing from your company so I was feeling pretty confident my order had finally been settled and figured out.
At the very least, my only options were to simply wait it out until I was able to speak with my mother just as soon as she was well enough or wait for another phone call from "Orange County Area" (949) 481-3596 [Monday, 10/7], "Orange Country Area" (949) 542-7654 [Monday], "Orange County Area" (949) 361-7918 [I heard from this number x2 on Monday, aren't I lucky!?], "Orange County Area" (949) 481-3596 [Friday], or "Orange County Area" (949) 361-7915 [Friday]. I'll admit, there were more telephone numbers in there, but Mike, that's a lot of typing that I'm not devoted to doing right now.
But what happened surpassed my wildest expectations, Mike:
Yes! Another phone call on Monday from your "Orange County" minions saying there was another "problem" encountered and the delivery was yet to actually be, what do you call it again? Delivered? I think that's the correct word, right? Delivered, where you pay someone for something and pay them additionally for their service to actually hand off the paid item to the proper person? That sounds accurate, correct me if I'm wrong, Mike. You are a much smarter human than I, of that I am sure. After all, not everyone can run such a fully functioning company as well as you.
What was the problem this time you ask, Mike? I'm so glad you did! I was told I needed to spend an additional $40 to have the flowers delivered due to price fluctuations around the country and "especially in Colorado." You see, the unfortunate thing for your company, is not only am I from Denver and I know this to be untrue, but I have ordered flowers before from venders in Colorado (and nationwide, Mike) who had no problems taking my initial $40, making it work AND have it delivered on the same day! I'm sure the idea seems daunting Mike; especially since it's advertised on your website and also reiterated on the confirmation e-mails you send out. You must be completely overwhelmed with mass amounts of orders, and that's where my understanding nature came in and I wasn't completely aggravated until Saturday evening when I received my second call of the day from your incompetent workers.
Finally, after a total 11 phone calls in 72 hours (we're up to 17 now on Wednesday), I gave up Mike. Please don't tell my mother as I'm sure she'd rather not think of her favorite daughter as a quitter, but Mike, please tell me what else I could have done? After speaking to a "manager", and please don't take offense to this Mike but I'm almost certain she wasn't really a manager, I was quite disgruntled and cancelled my order. I cancelled it Mike. I also took reassurance in the fact that when I asked for a refund the "manager" told me that my card was never charged. But Mike, after checking my bank statement shortly after we hung up (I admit, I hung up on her so please do tell her I apologize... kind of) my account was in fact, despite your "managers" claims, charged. How can this be Mike? How can this be when she said I was never charged? So now I have a hole in my heart and a hole in my bank account Mike. So I'm disgruntled on top of being disgruntled which is making me more disgruntled. And I don't like being disgruntled Mike. I really don't.
I don't want you to worry about my money too much, though, Mike, as I've contacted my bank, VISA, and the Better Business Bureau and they'll all be contacting you shortly. Mike, as my mothers favorite child, I'm positive she is going to be quite upset I've wasted my time dealing with ignorant, condescending liars who take me to be as stupid as the people you have hired to run your company. So I'm just not going to tell her. While being in the hospital with congestive heart failure, my concern is that if she hears what you're company has tried to pull, it may actually kill her. Do you want that on your conscious Mike? I sure wouldn't. What I will say is, boy, she sure would have loved those flowers I chose for her. It looks like I probably should have just snail mailed a care package, or walked a card to her myself from Chicago, IL, as it would have gotten there quicker than your false promises and s***ty overpriced flowers (Please excuse the bleep there, I was raised to be a lady).
As I said at the start, I love ordering flowers and not just for my mother specifically. It's a shame such a simple thing like delivery in a timely manner, the whole point of your company really, could bring it crashing to it's knees.
Yours (not-so) Sincerely,
Lillian Wetherington
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